Is Parenting Making You Feel Lost and Confused?
Is your child experiencing anxiety, and you don’t know how to support him/her? Or, do you not know how to get him/her to listen to you without repeated requests and yelling? Are you wondering why your child listens to his/her other parent, but not you? Do you sometimes lose control over yourself or wish you handled things differently? You may wonder if anything will help you connect with your child. Every discussion might end up in a yelling match, and yet all you want is peace and quiet. Do you wish you knew what else you could do to support your child?
It may seem as though you and your co-parent are not on the same page. Maybe your opposing parenting styles prevent you from finding compromise or consistency when faced with tough situations. Or, your partner might let you take the lead when parenting, but then you resent him/her later for not being more active or helpful. Perhaps you and your co-parent are both feeling resentful and unheard.
Maybe you worry that your child doesn’t like you and fear that he or she will want nothing to do with you as an adult. You may wish you knew how to nurture a healthy relationship with your child. Perhaps you feel bewildered, guilty and unsure of how to move forward.
So Many Parents Wonder If They Are Friend Or Foe
Parenting is a tough challenge, and the tools and techniques you use with your child can impact so much, including the type of relationship you and your child have throughout your lives. Family dynamics partially shape a child’s work ethic and personality and can teach him or her how to form relationships in adulthood. This is an enormous responsibility. If you feel overwhelmed, you are not alone. No one is given a “how to” book on parenting skills when having kids, and most parents are faced with unexpected situations.
You may frequently wonder if you should take a friendly or stern approach. Maybe you wonder how to set healthy boundaries with your child. Parenting skills are something that evolves and changes along with your child and his or her unique experiences. With help and support, you can develop the unique parenting skills that your family needs.
With New Parenting Skills, You Can Make Your Home More Peaceful
Since 2003, I have been helping parents better understand their family dynamics and develop new parenting skills and techniques. Applying parenting skills from a more mindful position, maintaining a unified approach with your partner and having skills to choose from can help you feel more peaceful, purposeful and empowered. Of course, kids will be kids and there is no such thing as a “perfect” household. Still, with help you can feel better equipped to embrace your family’s unique imperfections and challenges.
In sessions, I strive to gain a full understanding of all your family dynamics to ensure we develop a plan that matches your unique situation. We will examine how the family members are relating to one another and explore the family relationships. We will also look at other life experiences you and your co-parent have had, including your own childhoods. How you were raised plays a huge role in your parenting now, and many parents find themselves unconsciously echoing their mothers and fathers. However, if it’s too painful to “go there” then, by all means, we don’t have to. We can focus only on the present. No matter which direction we take, we will focus on meeting your parenting goals.
In my work with parents, I can truly appreciate the struggles of raising a child. I have kids of my own, and I know the waves of emotions that come and go as a parent. In sessions, we can laugh about the comical things that can happen, appreciate the many joys children bring and work through the ugliness that can occur in every family. You can express all of your thoughts, feelings and worries without any fear of judgment.
As a mindful parent, you can be more aware of your parental influences and gain insight into your child’s behaviors and choices. As your child grows, s/he will always be able to make his/her own choices, which may not coincide with your choices for him/her. Finding the ability to let that go will be very empowering for you. In addition, being on the same page with your co-parent will ensure that your child cannot split up your united front. There will be less room for mishaps in parenting. You and your co-parent may begin to understand one another in ways you may not have before. With help, you can enjoy greater calm and cooperation in your home.
You may be curious about parenting skills, but still have questions or concerns…
I don’t need help with parenting. It’s my child that needs the help.
I agree that there are times when a child/teenager needs help with managing his/her own life. I offer services for this as well. At the same time, you can’t control what your child does or doesn’t do. If your son/daughter struggles with things like listening, disrespect, aggression, hyperactivity, getting homework done, anger, not wanting to attend school, anxiety or social issues, parenting skills might be more influential than you may think.
All family members, children and parents alike, play a role in the family dynamics; therefore, all members have a responsibility to make changes. Given that you are in the position of power and are likely better able to foster change in behaviors than your child, you will find that with some support from a trained therapist, you, too, can provoke positive changes in your family. You are likely able to provoke change a lot quicker as well.
Things have been going okay for a while, so maybe I don’t need new parenting skills.
I am glad things are going well. If you want to give it a go on your own, more power to you. If you are wondering if this new harmony will remain, then I ‘d suggest seeking help before things fall into conflict. In times of calm, it is easier to understand what helps everyone do well. Therapy can help you identify what is working so that you can rediscover times of peace and make them last.
My co-parent is not open to therapy. How could I convince him or her to come?
Sometimes, this can’t be changed, and that’s okay. Just as we can’t control our children, we can’t control anyone else either. On a positive note, you can decide you need help and can still come on your own. Positive changes can and will still occur, just through one person in the family making changes. I know this seems hard to believe, but it’s true.
I can help you figure out ways to help your co-parent feel more comfortable with the idea of coming as well. Feel free to call me, even without an appointment, and we can figure out a game plan together. However you choose to handle this situation is up to you, and I will support your decision.
Your Whole Family Can Make Positive Changes
Therapy can help families make those difficult changes that you long for. If after reading this page, you still wonder if your family is ready for this, feel free to contact me. I can help you sort things out and make a decision that is best for your situation. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation, so feel free to take advantage of this offer. I can be reached at (703) 554-2882. I look forward to hearing from you soon!