Where is Your Relationship Heading? Answer These Questions
Have you ever looked at the material things you own to assess what needs to be tossed or kept? A thorough closet clean-out is a good example of this. It’s important to do this with all aspects of your life, including your relationship.
It’s sort of like taking inventory and restocking the things you need to fulfill your goals — fashion-wise (as in the closet clean-out example) and in terms of life goals altogether.
Did you know that it’s a good idea to take inventory of your relationship, too? You’ve realized by now that a relationship can do one of two things. It can add to your life or it can take away from it. Sometimes it’s difficult to take an honest look at your relationship. You genuinely care for the other person and don’t want to hurt his or her feelings, but you do want to know where the relationship is heading. In fact, it’s necessary to know this for you to keep growing and progressing in life. When figuring out where your relationship is heading, consider the following questions.
Where Do You See Your Relationship in the Future?
This may seem like an obvious question and it is. The important thing to remember when you ask this is to primarily focus on your own goals.
It can be easy to stuff your relationship into any empty cubby hole surrounding your own life’s goals. But this strategy isn’t realistic, however, because relationships can’t thrive in the “cubby holes” of life.
Does your relationship fit into your personal or career goals in two years? How about five or ten years?
If your relationship and personal goals don’t both fit into your future then your relationship or your goals are probably heading nowhere.
It’s a “this life isn’t big enough for the both of us” kind of predicament.
If they couple beautifully, your relationship has a heap of positive potential for the future.
Have You Outgrown the Relationship?
People grow and change along life’s path. Sometimes one person grows out of the relationship. Think of trying to put on clothes you wore as a 10-year old. Maybe you feel like this is where you’re at now — trying to squeeze into a few sizes too small. You have no room to grow.
It doesn’t mean that you are better or worse than the other person. It means that you’ve changed, but the relationship hasn’t. It’s not really adding to your life anymore.
Also, some relationships are meant to be temporary. Like a chapter in a book. When the relationship has fulfilled its purpose the chapter ends.
It can be bittersweet to realize that your relationship was only a chapter. Maybe it helps to think that the relationship just wouldn’t make sense in any other part of your book.
Do I Expect to Change the Other Person?
One of the most important elements to remember in any relationship is that you cannot change the other person.
You can support, love, and comfort them. You can’t change them.
It can be hard to tell the difference between emotionally supporting your partner because you care or expecting him or her to change because of your support.
If you accept your partner, flaws and all, then you are heading into serious relationship territory. If you only see a future that doesn’t include those unwanted flaws then the relationship has probably run its course.
Are You Progressing in Life or at a Standstill?
As mentioned before, your relationship can do one of two things for you. It can add to your life or it can take away from it.
Ask yourself in what ways does your partner add to your life. What ways does your partner take away from your life?
Does your relationship invite more stress or is it more of a life anchor for you?
When your partner adds to your life in a positive way then most likely you have many more chapters to write together. If he or she adds stress and hurt to your life more than anything else, your life is at a standstill and you need to release the toxic hold he or she has on you.
Your Relationship Clean-out
Like a good closet clean-out, your emotions can help you sort out what you need to keep in your life and what you need to toss.
All relationships have rough patches and may even take a few steps back sometimes. Taking a deep look at your relationship from your point of view can help you sort out where your relationship is heading.
To learn more about Couples Therapy click here.